i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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