So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
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