Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Enjoy the penises
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
