My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Randomize
