We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
