So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
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