A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
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