there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
