NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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