Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
When did angry sex become our thing?
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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