Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
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