I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Randomize
