turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
