i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
