Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Randomize
