I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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