No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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