I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
