Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
