I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
