i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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