look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
no you cant smoke seaweed
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
