Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
