Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Randomize
