am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
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