Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I think im going to throw up on grandma
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
