drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
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