I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
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