She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
