I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
