shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
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