It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Randomize
