Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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