Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
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