I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
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