I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
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