All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
