If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
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