I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Randomize
