It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
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