hotel room ftw
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
