Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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