BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
