Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize
