there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Randomize
