no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Randomize
