Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
This house was built for laser tag.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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