And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
Drake has all the answers
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Randomize
