If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Randomize
