The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
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