Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Randomize
