So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Randomize
