We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
