can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Randomize
