also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
