Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
