One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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